fantasie chalkique

[gurdonark]

Tonight AMC showed the Sidney Poitier movie, "To Sir, With Love". This is my favorite Poitier role, eclipsing even "Lilies of the Field". For those who have not seen the film, Poitier plays an engineer forced to take a job as a school teacher in a high school in the blue collar London East End. With a world of 60s relevance,staunch values, and a little outright "hep", he reaches the kids, and reaches into his own heart to find his true vocation. When I see a movie like this, I long to chuck up my current life, and enter teacher training immediately.

It's not a Poitier kind of thing, either. Many works of literature and film have this effect on me. James Hilton's book "Goodbye, Mr. Chips", about a second-class school teacher in a second rate public school,who proves to be a first class fellow, also gives me that longing for a world in which I save the day notwithstanding seeming mediocrity. The Chips focus on education as imparting the key virtues of "perspective" and fair play enchants me. The Miss Read Fairacre series of stories about a village elementary schoolteacher makes me wish for a world in which I was absorbed in a community in which I was the educator. To digress for a moment, one way in which I know I am truly a snob is that I literally turn my nose up at Jan Karon's Americanized Miss Read imitations, where the doubtable Father Tim just lacks that schoolteacherly air. I love the idea of being in that world set apart from the stress of material success, personal status, and endless stylized jousting. I imagine myself in the hurly burly of the classroom. I may not be Sidney Poitier, quite, but I could come on like a regular rock n roll star of the classroom.

I wish my fantasies were excusable on the basis that I don't know any better. Actually, though, I have had many relatives who have been school teachers. It's probably in my blood somewhere, along with all those genes that dictate that I gain weight when I eat chocolate. It can be a stressful, low paid, needlessly political job, as many jobs are when the hope of money, real power or real recognition is absent at the workplace.
I think that people who disparage working for a profit don't realize how liberating it can be to see fights over something understandable, like money, as opposed to pointless turf war. I don't wonder how vile the Original Sin must have been in the eyes of the Creator, such that even millenia later, certain serpent-like school teachers still bite one another's heels as if they were the dreaded tempter serpent itself, forced to repent in a 6th grade teachers' lounge. I know many teachers I admire, but I never think it is an easy life. I think it is a noble life, but in that "hard work in Calcutta" sense, not in that "ascending into Heaven at the end of the movie The Robe" sense. Many teachers are wonderful people, many administrations are great administrations, but nobody doubts that one works harder and gets less respect than one deserves.

When I was in school, I respected my teachers tremendously. I was a "good" kid. But I did not see them as compatriots. Instead, they were a sort of 19th C. Tory government in power, and I was a friendly Liberal loyal opposition. Oh, from time to time my shadow cabinet might confer with the junior ministers on the "ruling side", but in general, when question time came, I did not spare them. I adored my 10th grade speech teacher. She was bright, she was a good teacher, and she was beautiful (sad, really, that at 15 that mattered--but it did). She was also shocked when my mother told her hers was my favorite class. "I had no idea", she said, "he always acts like every assignment is such a pain". I still treasure memories of teachers, though, whether it was Mr. G in chemistry class telling me that writing long answers to try to get partial credit was really not a good strategy when I had no idea of the true answer, or the spelling bees in Mrs. M's fifth grade class. Man, I could spell. You wouldn't know it by my word processing. I can spell, but I do not type what I think; I type a misspelled version of what I think. My heart still aches at how Mr. M. was mercilessly harassed by kids in junior high, and then driven from the profession when he broke down and hit back a kid who was hitting him. When a friend told me Mr. G had drunk himself to death in grief over causing a DWI death, I was so sad. Yet I'd never have let him know how fond I was of him. That was not cricket.

When I was in college, becoming a teacher would have been the furthest thing from my mind. A professor, yes, that was something I thought about--but a high school teacher? All that stress, none of the prestige, and of course, coaches for principals.

But now, even after seeing all the stress of teaching, it appeals to me enormously. I read books about teachers, and imagine myself in the classroom, slogging away at the day to day. I am no starry eyed dreamer. I don't think I could be an Escalante, or even Mr. Holland (whose Opus I am vaguely ashamed to say I watch with unabashed enjoyment). But if I was in the classroom, maybe I'd be somebody. Somebody who did things because they are worth doing. My teachers did not win my open admiration, but they marked me. It may only be a mark noticeable when I read a novel about teaching, but it's there. I have read the indelible ink on my soul--it says "attorney", and I can't wipe it off. But sometimes I want to cross out some letters, add a few others, and step into the classroom. My law partner was a principal before he became a lawyer. I envy him on that score, just a little. I am tattooed with chalk.

Comments

[voodoukween.livejournal.com]

and you, sir, have much to teach

teaching is indeed a noble profession

i have those teachers who marked me for life in a way i did not know until i was grown

those who modeled for me something "more", something other than what i "see"

when i was in elementary school, i adored each of my teachers..they instilled a passion and appreciation for learning

that was the best it ever was

then, i had an english teacher and a french teacher who helped me feel some sort of secure confidence in myself sense during my high school years that i will treasure always

beyond that there was not much support

quite a few of my friends are teachers, hmmmm

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

When a teacher can impart secure confidence, that's a very good thing, I think. I imagine it must be hard to keep up that workload and be cheery and nurturing in that way.

[voodoukween.livejournal.com]

it is

unfortunately, the number of burnt out, dispassionate, and harmful teachers is far too high

actually, the one english teacher i had, who still teaches and counsels in san francisco, consistently takes her 1 year sabbatical due her every 5 years

that's what they are for and not enough teachers take them

[wildgarden.livejournal.com]

You are really fortunate. When I was in 4th grade I fell into the clutches of an evil destructive nun in a Catholic school, who tried to destroy me emotionally. She mocked and belittle my efforts. She accused me of motivations that I did not know even existed. When I tried to get some support at home, my parents, condidering her an 'authority figure', sided with her. While I've recovered emotionally she managed to drive a stake through my heart, as far as school was concerned.
Even though later on I met some good teachers the damage was done as far as school was concerned. My confidence had been shattered and school was a torment.

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

What a misfortune. Teachers can have a negative impact, too. That's why it's such an important job.

[voodoukween.livejournal.com]

have heard these horrid tales, too, i'm so sorry

and even though i am glad i came across some teachers with redeeming qualities school was torture for me as well

and i have many issues with "systems" ever since

i met my first monster in the 4th grade as well, interesting it was my first male teacher (my father who was brought up in military schools insisted for as long as possible that we only have male teachers who were retired military....that did not make them any kind of teacher at all) who had a large wooden paddle with holes in it and used to take kids in the cloakroom just adjacent to the classroom where we deliberately could hear the whacks and the wails

fortunately we moved and i was spared an entire year with that beast

then i had a succession of male teachers who used shame and humiliation to enforce some kind of control

i am grateful for the few true teachers i came across after that who encouraged me to go my own way

[laruth.livejournal.com]

A teacher has a crucial role in anyone's development. I've seen some teachers who shouldn't be there as they are wrecking good kids. On the other hand, there have been some fantastic teachers who leave a mark on you.

I would love to be a teacher too.

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I've seen teachers who shouldn't be in the classroom, also. But I think far more of the teachers I had were good teachers, and a few were excellent! Maybe teacher will be your second career, after you're fixed all the bugs at Centrelink!

[laruth.livejournal.com]

*chuckles* I'm thinking of heading back to University and teach after working on a PhD on the side. I would love to teach Primary School but that would mean getting another Bachelors which will take an additional 4 years full time.

It's still early yet and I'll see how everything goes. But it is good to have dreams!

[nacowafer.livejournal.com]

To Sir, With Love rocks! What a great movie. And the music! I love the bit at the end where Sidney Poitier rips that engineering job offer in half! Those hands! (eep. too many exclamation points...) Teachers are powerful forces. I've been influenced by many. However, education departments in universities...that's another matter entirely. Crushed my desire. That, and watching effiemay survive student teaching high school English. The horror, the horror. Plus kids would think I'm a total freak...

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

By contrast, if I made career choices according to whether people thought I was a total freak, I'd be paralyzed. Many of my favorite teachers, now that I think about it, were arguably total freaks. I've seen people with really good experience with education departments, but I've also seen people with really bad experiences. The "sink or swim" mentality still seems to haunt
schools, also, even in an era when "mentoring" is a big keyword.
It's not an easy life, but sometimes I wish it were my life.

[marstokyo.livejournal.com]

How's this for irony? my father's family was heavily laden with school teachers (he taught before he went into metallurgy, though I have no doubt he was one of those really HORRIBLE teachers!)--his insistence that I major in education in college and NOT art was what forced me to drop out. I did NOT want to become a teacher.

At the age of 38, I fell into teaching at a women's college and for nine years absolutely loved the experience (in the classroom--as opposed to the faculty meetings and politics!)-- I stayed with that one job longer than I'd stayed with any other one job. And it was very rewarding--and I could tell I was a really good teacher, because I taught the way I parented. I gave the students what I wished I'd had in a teacher. I gave boundless amounts of instruction and encouragement. And my students loved me. -- I'd still like to do something with all my teaching experience and I think I will. (though I'm opposed to going back to the same format)

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I'll bet you were a good teacher. Based on the evidence of LiveJournal, I'd guess that if you could work out a "new" format in which to teach folks, you'd be able to find willing apprentices.

[asphalteden.livejournal.com]

I don't have many stories about teachers changing me. Until college, school and teachers were a bad taste, excitedly spat out with graduation.

I did meet some incredible college professors over my six years in school.

Through them I learned about making my own way, in spite of what peers were doing. Even if it got me in trouble in the end, in the same way they had gotten in trouble.
I learned that teachers were flawed people like me, subject to their own regrets and mistakes.
I learned that certain teachers cared about me (though they didn't really know me) and wanted to see me succeed.
But I think most of all, through these few professors, I learned that my opinion was important and that they really were interested in what I had to say. And this led me to think that much more deeply and constantly, so they would not be disappointed with me.

And I'd guess this caused me, in the end, to be a better adult. And that process is always continuing for me.

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I think professors and teachers were flawed people, like me. I had some professors who meant a lot to me, both in college and in law school. I liked what you said about learning to go your own way.

enlightened men

[voodoukween.livejournal.com]

watching said Sir film as i type

though i still like him in Lilies and the grand Cry the Beloved Country, now there was a sad film

interesting trivia announced beforehand that his break was a theatrical production of some greek tale, i swear she said Les Estrata but that sounds like a dessert i've had, where women had the power to stop all wars by refusing to have sex with any men until it were so

fabulous concept!

think we could garner Laura Bush's support?

[yulbrynner.livejournal.com]

For every "Stand and Deliver", there is an "Election"

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

Amusing. Decidedly amusing.

and for every "To Sir, with Love" song, there is "The Wall".

Those school girl days of telling and tales and biting nails are gone...

[espvivisection.livejournal.com]

I've always loved that song. My favorite rendition is of Dave Pirner and Lulu singing it live on Mtv Unplugged.

But if I was in the classroom, maybe I'd be somebody. Somebody who did things because they are worth doing.

Were you to switch vocations, I have no doubt you'd be this kind of teacher. Mostly because I longed for a teacher with real world experience and someone who bovious invested a lot of serious thought into, well, anything, and then deigned to exhibit that careful thought to the likes of lowly us.

Re: Those school girl days of telling and tales and biting nails are gone...

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I like that song, too, though I never heard Pirner (who always, sadly for him, sticks in my mind mainly as a Wynona ex) sing it with Lulu.
She's cool in that movie.

I guess your path will make you a university teacher, won't it?

Re: Those school girl days of telling and tales and biting nails are gone...

[espvivisection.livejournal.com]

I guess your path will make you a university teacher, won't it?

One can hope, as I currently do, that my path will take me where I think it will lead. You never know...I might end up a preservationist. I might end up a lawyer. It's still too early to tell.

Re: Those school girl days of telling and tales and biting nails are gone...

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

It's fun to be at that part of your life which is all possibility, although it always seems more fun in retrospect than it is while living it.