(morning writing)

Mar. 7th, 2026 10:21 am
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There is a little bitty spider on the ceiling of the front room where Bruno spends most of his time. It's so small even i am not distressed by it. He is FUSSING at it.

The unexceptional litany of horrors )

Sorry, just it's so right there.

I was up late last night, first experimenting with our new smart telescope, then reading. I awoke coughing at almost 5 am, and decided to get up since an accursed time change happens in the US tomorrow. It is a grey gloomy morning and my mind wanders agressively.

saturday

Mar. 7th, 2026 08:40 am
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The ARC "Community" mural at the Clarion Mall as it was being worked on yesterday. That's Dave in the middle.

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End of the day. Dave and I were washing brushes while Chloe was putting some last touches on it. There will be 2 more scheduled days to work on it in a couple weeks. I plan to go.

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News. Sometimes I feel like the news is trying to engulf me.

My sleep is messed up. Can't sleep at night, don't get naps in the day, I'm so tired I go to bed before 8 pm but then I wake up at 1 am. I had some crazy dreams this morning. Seems too hard to try and remember how it all fit together and make any sense of them. A dog (Trixy?) that was wrapped up in a blanket and shot 10 times, I was afraid to look inside to see if he was still alive, clumps of shit on the floor, water leaks in the roof and trying to find pots and pans to put under the leaks, Mr D our childhood neighbor coming into the house without knocking and finding me topless while I was mopping the bathroom, he turned around without speaking and left before I could say anything, I was a school girl and had two friends who were in love but finding it hard to get together - they had to sneak off the schoolbus at separate places and meet in secret that way.

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A bright spot. The Entity this morning. I caught it during a moment of sun that was breaking through hazy clouds.

Arena

Mar. 6th, 2026 09:19 pm
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My first chore today was to send off the information my tax guy needs for the part of the Ranch that is held as a corporation.  Corporate taxes are due March 15, not April 15. Sigh. 
This afternoon I took the tractor down to the arena and spent a lot of time going in tight circles as fast as I could.  According to someone I talked to that is the secret for leveling out an arena. My arena had big lumps in it where truck loads of sand were dumped. Over time the lumps have gotten better, but it has been easy to see that it was far from flat. The circles seems to have worked, the arena looks a lot better, but then it always looks better after it has been all stirred up and the footing is soft.  Leslie Miller was there, she came to camp for the weekend. So were Glen and Alice.  They all helped first clear the arena so I could work it up, and then set for this weekend's Obstacle Practice.  It was fun up until I had to race back to the house to meet Denise who came and trimmed Firefly's feet. 
Off early tomorrow to finish setup and get ready to greet riders.  Only 5 coming Sat and 7 on Sun. 

time out

Mar. 6th, 2026 11:13 pm
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I had the week off from work (though I did some work most days) and was able to catch up a bit on chores and sleep. I saw my optometrist, who confirmed that my prescription has changed, which is probably why I can't read for more than an hour without getting a headache. I scheduled an appointment with a new dentist. I took three bags of clothing and shoes to our local recycling center and donated a trunk full of household items to a thrift store. I think one sign of a tougher economy is the selection at thrift stores--there really wasn't much that tempted me, and it was easy to leave empty handed. I left my garden shears at the small engine repair place to be sharpened (gotta pick 'em up tomorrow). 

I napped every day but yesterday. We have a mouse problem, so I finally scheduled to have someone give an estimate for work to seal the house against entry. [The previous vendor put down snap traps but never seemed to completely seal the entry points.] Then in the afternoon I had a work call and spent some time cleaning items to donate. 

It's been a while since my last visit to a thrift store. I still like seeing what people are giving away; e.g., "smores makers" are still taking up shelf space, and most of the kitchen utensils were black plastic, probably from that study claiming that black plastic kitchen utensils cause cancer. I did a lot of shopping this week, and one thing I still believe is that there's entirely too much stuff in the world. If we stopped manufacturing mugs (beer, coffee, soup), I bet we wouldn't notice for a couple of years. Same thing for flimsy but ostensibly reusable tote/shopping bags and costume jewelry. 

The other work call I attended this week was for our next alt-text pilot. This time we have a blind scientist who uses screen readers helping us evaluate the vendor's work, and the call was to meet her. She was very nice and kept thanking us for doing the pilot, which was a little embarrassing. It's only a step up from the least we could do. Still, it was nice to see a real reminder of why we should be making our content more accessible. 

We also booked an actual vacation: we're going to Memphis in May for three days. We want to see Sun Studios and Stax Studios and possibly one of the music museums. We're staying at a hotel that has a vinyl lounge; we're hoping it's like the Tokyo record bar we visited, where talking is discouraged and the jacket of the album that's playing is displayed on the bar. 

Climatology Matters

Mar. 7th, 2026 09:01 am
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Whilst the terrible and illegal war in the Middle East expands with increasing loss of life, it seems almost avoidant to concentrate on climatology matters as I have done for a lot of the past week. Still, one should be concerned with ongoing, creeping long-term issues as well as the literally explosive, immediate ones. Further, as the ever astute critic of political power and its abuse, Clinton Fernandes points out part of the reason that the United States is at war with Israel is to control China's access to high-sulphur Iranian oil, which accounts for over 14 per cent of its supply. National security is yet another reason why the rapid transition away from fossil fuels is so critically important for any country that desires to be truly independent, and why any country with internationally significant supplies of oil that is not part of USian imperialist control (e.g., Venezuela, Iran) are being targeted and why Canada is still on Trump's list for annexation.

Earlier this week was Adam Ford's "Future Day", a three-day online conference featuring various futurologists primarily discussing artificial intelligence and longevity. My own contribution was a presentation on "Critical Issues for the Global Climate" which I have produced a slidedeck, something approximating a transcript, and with the video available on YouTube. At over 4000 words, the presentation covers the core science of climatology (Earth's energy budget, carbon cycle, physics of GHGs), the industrial age and observed changes, environmental changes, the Anthropocene Extinction Event, and energy trajectories and future global policy directions. Concluding remarks identify climate change as a critical issue and one subject to "race conditions", and note that the policy route, whilst necessary, is currently falling short of requirements.

The other major climatology study completed this week was a 4500-word paper for my Euclid University studies in "Global Energy and Climate Policy", namely "Energy Production Under The Paris Agreement: Options for Developing Pacific Island Countries". Energy production is the major source of GHG emissions and, despite rapid changes toward renewables - especially solar and wind energy - fossil fuels such as coal, oil, and gas dominate global energy production. "L'Accord de Paris", requires all signatories (which excludes Iran, which never ratified, and the United States, which withdrew) to increasingly reduce emissions for each report of their own Nationally Determined Contributions (NDCs) in an effort to keep global temperature increases below 2 degrees C. For developing Pacific Island Countries, this is an issue: they are micro-contributors to GHG emissions, both absolutely and relatively, are especially sensitive to the effects of climate change, and, with underdeveloped infrastructure, are vulnerable. They require adaptation more than mitigation, and that's not required by the Paris Agreement. The conclusion I have reached is that the Paris Agreement requires an extension that includes requirements for both adaptation and mitigation.

With over 8000 words written on climatology in the past week, you would be forgiven for thinking that I've probably had enough on the subject for a while. On the contrary, my interest has actually increased. Whilst often a grim study (depression and anxiety are occupational risks among climatologists), the science provides multiple interesting avenues of investigation, the technologies provide a slim glimmer of hope, and the politics illustrate the dangers and difficulties of managing global matters within the limitations of sovereign nation-states. It is a life's work, a life's interest, and it is in the advocacy for life itself that makes this the most important scientific and moral challenge of our time.

friday

Mar. 6th, 2026 10:50 am
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Sunflower Baby. Her little leaf arms make me happy.

We're leaving soon to help Chloe paint a mural at the Clarion Mall. The ARC is involved. There may be pictures later...

Road, Obstacle Practice

Mar. 5th, 2026 10:20 pm
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It is a little dry, but today I got the tractor out and graded the road. Hopefully we will have a light rain soon to settle the gravel in it's new home. 

This weekend it Obstacle Practice.  I'm mostly ready. 

The greenhouse is full of little plants growing lustily. 

Willow, Elderberry

Mar. 5th, 2026 10:11 pm
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Last week the ladies from the basket weaving group came out to help cut back willow trees.  They did some cutting, and a lot of harvesting of small willow twigs, most around 2 feet long. I used the chainsaw and the loppers.  We got a tiny area done.  On the way back to the car I realized there was an elderberry tree there. It was HUGE, one stem was at least 16 inches in diameter and probably 40 feet tall.  I'm used to thinking of elderberry as a shrub.  I cut back several of the smaller stems and the ladies harvested from the downed wood.  They were very excited about it.  Elderberry is used to make flutes, rattles, arrows and all kinds of things.  The elderberry, will grow back strong and straight. It is a fire ecology plant and responds really well to being cut, or burnt. 
I'm so happy that I've made contact with this community of people!  

Henry St

Mar. 5th, 2026 09:42 pm
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As of a few days ago we FINALLY have a permit to do the planned construction at Henry has been 3 long years since we set out to find an architect to draw new plans for a renovation. 


This is a picture from 2004, showing the back of Henry St house. In it you can see, on the left side of the house, that there are two enclosed "porches" hanging off the back wall of the house.  The top one is little, only about 7 feet wide. The lower one is 15 feet wide, so just over half the width of the house.  Both porches leak a bit in big storms. Yes, since before 2004. The construction will take both porches completely off the back of the house, remove all the siding from the back of the house and move some of the windows.  The window changes will allow us to put in 2 - 4 ft wide "sheer walls"  running from the foundation to the roof.  These will strengthen the house in an earthquake. Currently there is a window or a door, on one level or another, making it so there is almost no place where even one support runs all the way from foundation to roof.  Speaking of foundations, our is literally crumbling away and has no tensile strength. NOT good.  After demolition the first step will be to pour a new foundation across the back of the house.

I have been down to SF several times in the last few weeks, helping Donald clean out the garage, and hauling things to Ukiah. 

thursday later

Mar. 5th, 2026 08:29 am
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Meds all given, everyone fed, chicken butt washed and now drying in the bathroom.

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Rocky eating her breakfast. I think I'll keep her isolated in the bathroom for awhile just to keep an eye on her.

thursday

Mar. 5th, 2026 06:54 am
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I made this for Hazel. She especially likes opossoms.

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Fragments. Watercolor, ballpoint pen and alcohol markers. I feel like I am fragmenting sometimes. So much stuff to remember and think about. When I read the news (world news, national news) I feel like I should be doing something about this stuff but there is nothing that I can do. I feel pulled apart. I decided that instead of watching netflix so much I'm going to start to just listen to music instead. That keeps me centered better.

There is lots of animal care that needs done right now. Skye gets meds twice a day and a shot once a week, plus fed multiple times a day. Now Andy has something going on (maybe a flare up of anaplasmosis) and needs meds twice a day and special food to encourage him to eat. Rocky the chicken has poopy butt. When it's time to let them out this morning I'm going to grab her and bring her into the house so I can soak her bottom in epsom salts and get that poop off her. Then I need to find the probiotic powder I have somewhere and dose their water with it for a few days. See if that will fix it. I worry that these issues (Skye especially) won't be settled before I leave for Florida in April, or other things will crop up and I'll have to leave complicated stuff Dave to deal with. In my mind no one can do it as good as I can.

wednesday

Mar. 4th, 2026 07:21 am
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Worm Moon. The latest full moon we just had is called the worm moon. I guess because this is the time of the year that worms are waking up after hibernating through the winter. Just in time for the robins' arrival.

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Dave took the potatoes from the basement outside. They're ready to quit hibernating too.

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On Monday Candy and I hiked the trail beside Two Mile Run in the park. It was neat because the ground underfoot was crispy and noisy with frozen leaves.

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I finished a raccoon yesterday and started an opossum. I don't have a pattern for the opossum but I think I can change the raccoon to have a pink nose and feet, black ears and put on a pink string tail and it'll be a possum.

I dreamed last night about having a little kitten that I was taking care of. We were visiting David Z's mother's house. The house was a huge old mansion that was rotting and falling in. Our feet were going through the floorboards. The living room was like a big auditorium and the stage was covered in flowers in vases.  They had a bunch of older cats that lived there and my little cat was mixing in with them somewhere in the back rooms. It was time to go and I wanted my kitten back. I called it and found it again and carried it out. Put it down on the steps outside the house. Dream over. I think it's kinda easy to see the dream's connections to Skye right now, especially since David Z died of a cancer.
elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
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I was obsessing with retirement through much of February because (1) approaching birthday (2) colleague on Big Project retiring (3) my uncertainty about what happens with Big Project when i retire. Not that it won't happen without me, but more assumptions that i will be there.

I took Friday through Tuesday off, partly as a birthday, partly to practice for retirement.  I don't know when i will retire. I've decided i don't need to really think about decisions until the end of this year and that's if i want to give very graceful notice. Things i am considering though are how well i am ding at work and how well i can manage myself without the big stick of work expectations hanging over me.

This long plus weekend was less than ideal in some ways. In ways it went well, i got outside on the two nice days and made significant progress in the north end of the garden plot. I cleaned most of that end up last year, held back stilt grass. It's now very mulched between the rows and some greens planted. I also set some time aside for birthday celebrations - Friday night with family, Sunday brunch with a friend.

But, broadly a good bit of the time was reading or sitting and poking at my digital stuff. My todo list is in worse shape now. My gardening data is a little better off: after making something complex, i turned around and simplified it so there is a prayer i can keep up. I didn't make progress on any of the miscellaneous to dos cluttering (like installing the new rain gauge). I shopped for new things to do, like some raised beds with my Dad's birthday gift to me that will then have some feijoas (pineapple guava, an evergreen to screen the heat pump compressor and all the power boxes on the wall) and a yuzu in it. Christine has bought a smart telescope for us, which will be very fun because it has an equatorial tracking mode that looks very easy and will make using it in our back yard easy. Watching people do astrophotography on Tokyo rooftops was amazing; our skies are reasonably dark: Bortle 4, "rural suburban transition" which one of the Dutch astrophotographers described as what he would travel to get.

In really good news, Bruno asked to come out of his room a few times in the evening and all of us sat in the living room together in the evening. Marlowe was indignant, but there were long peaceful stretches.  Bruno and Carrie are getting more used to each other: Carrie is still excited to see Bruno, but settles. Bruno relaxes around a relaxed Carrie.  Did have a bad pee event on the couch on my proper birthday, and i think the foam might still be drying out. Piffle.

Back to retirement thoughts: i have lots of vacation banked. I need to practice setting intentions and following through without work acting as the structure and the excuse for not doing things. Plants offer a touch of motivation as they at least have certain unstoppable issues, and the scion wood i bought to graft on the crepe myrtle and the fig is waiting for me in the fridge.

tuesday

Mar. 3rd, 2026 07:08 am
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Lunar Rain. I was disappointed this morning that it was raining and we couldn't see the lunar eclipse.

Media Post

Mar. 2nd, 2026 07:05 pm
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Movies: Rental Family is now on Hulu/Disney+. It stars Brendan Fraser as an American actor in Tokyo, who takes a job with an agency that specializes in "rental families," so he goes out on jobs where he has to play the role of a father for a young child, for example. So of course, things get complicated when feelings are involved, and it brings up questions of family and the lines between the personal and the professional. It was really good and there were points where I got a little emotional, honestly. I recommend it.

Television/Streaming: two episodes of Farscape: "Thanks for Sharing," where the two Crichtons end up getting split up on Talyn and Moya; and "Green Eyed Monster," where Talyn gets swallowed by the Budong and Crichton thinks that Crais is sleeping with Aeryn.

We also watched the second half of the newest season of Bridgerton. I ended up liking the second half better than the first. Cut for spoilers )

Books: I finished Pylon. It was very stream-of-consciousness early Faulkner. A departure from his usual southern gothic kind of tale; this one was in a fictionalized New Orleans and involves an air show in the early days of small airplanes. People crash, the reporter is in love with the wife of the pilot (who is apparently in a poly relationship but without using that term), and the people involved with the planes just kind of float along.

February was not a great month for books, as I DNF'd two books, so I only finished two.

Last night, I finished Butter by Asako Yuzuki. This was my online book club's pick for March. There is a lot to unpack here regarding the role of women in patriarchal society, especially Japan; food and culture; and the role of weight is discussed a lot, so if that is a trigger for you, you might want to avoid this book. I did make the pasta and it made me want to cook more, heh. I did enjoy the food descriptions more than anything else here, honestly.

monday later

Mar. 2nd, 2026 09:21 am
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Growth. A better title was Explosion.

Why am I having so many visual migraines this week - why am I stressed? Could the US starting a war with Iran be part of it? It's always something. Humans.

monday

Mar. 2nd, 2026 08:29 am
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These are backgrounds painted with watercolor on marker paper. Now I have starts for 4 art-a-days. I kinda like them just as they are too.

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*****
It got cold again last night. I have a string of holiday lights in the front window that are plugged into a thermostat that turns them on when the temps go under 20F. Woke up this morning and the window was lit up again.

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I finished this Blue Fairy yesterday. The pattern didn't call for a mouth. Dave said, don't fairies eat? I think it needs a mouth too, but what kind, and where, high or low, wide or round? Maybe she needs a proboscis tube like a butterfly.

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I like her wings.

We cut Dave's hair short yesterday. I saved his ponytail. He's been growing it for over 25 years and it never got very long. He thinks he looks like an old man now with short hair but I think he looks like he did when we got married. He had short hair back then.

As I'm typing this I'm starting another visual migraine. That's 2 in one week. It's hard to see what I'm typing on the screen through it.

February reading

Mar. 1st, 2026 10:18 pm
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February is usually the worst month, but March is not off to a great start. 

There Are Rivers in the Sky, Elif Shafak

Shafak is a good writer, and there are some lovely sentences in this novel that links three lives--Arthur Smith, living in Victorian London; Narin, a Yazidi girl in Turkey in the 2010s; and Zaleeka, a hydrologist living in London in the 2010s who grew up in Iraq. Water is one link; Nineveh is another. All three characters have tough lives, albeit for very different reasons. The ending is not as depressing as I was expecting, but it's definitely not happy. Shafak does explain a lot of the book in the book, which is a little laborious, and the thread about whether water has memory is more fiction than science, but I still enjoyed it.

Richard Strauss: An Intimate Portrait, Kurt Wilhelm

Strauss is my favorite opera composer (I've liked all four I've seen--Ariadne auf Naxos, Capriccio, Elektra, and Salome), but I didn't know much about him.  I picked up this in a used book store on a whim. There isn't much music analysis in this biography (apparently there are other books focused on his work); Wilhelm focuses more on Strauss' life and times. One thing that I found interesting is that he lived through several political transformations, from a king of Bavaria in childhood to seeing the Allies defeat the Nazis. Wilhelm seemed at his happiest when dishing about what other musicians and composers thought of one another, which was largely negative. He has a lot of anecdotes about Strauss being at the same party as, say, Berlioz, but the composers never spoke. So much tea! I also learned that "strauss" means "ostrich," and Strauss was frequently shown as an ostrich in caricatures of the time. Strauss wasn't a Nazi, but he did serve the Nazi government in a couple of ways, particularly overseeing the Bayreuth festival after Toscanini dropped out in protest. According to Wilhelm, after a year or so of appeasement, Goebbels showed up at Strauss' house, shouted at him for an hour, then issued a warrant for his arrest that was never executed. 

sunday

Mar. 1st, 2026 04:48 pm
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Blood Moon. I did this on "marker paper". Marker paper is thin but surprisingly it doesn't bleed through when you use markers on it. Watercolors don't settle into it much either. I think I will stick some in my book and experiment with it for a while. I've been thinking about the total lunar eclipse that's coming Tuesday morning. It will be in totality from around 6 am to 7 am. That sounds easy to get up for (I'm usually awake by then anyway) but I'm doubtful that we will be able to see it here - clouds and rain are forecast. It's a pretty neat thing to see. The full moon usually looks almost flat because the sunlight on it is so strong, but when it's in total shadow it looks very 3 dimensional.

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Yesterday we were driving home around sunset and there was a sundog in the sky. That always feels special.

ACFS Concert and the Producer's Role

Mar. 1st, 2026 09:22 pm
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Yesterday was a concert the acclaimed Shu Cheen Yu and Lotus Wind Choir for the Australia China Friendship Society (Victoria) which, in my role as president of the ACFS, I was co-producer. Held at St John's Anglican Church in Toorak, with its rather delicious Gothic revival architecture and superb acoustics, the concert was very successful. There were around 150 people in attendance, including representatives from the Consulate, Australia's former ambassador to China, and many Chinese community leaders. Shu Cheen Yu herself is really a star, trained in both Peking and Western operatic traditions; she has one of the most astounding voices I've ever heard, and she is such an impressive organiser and leader.

The concert itself was an equal balance between various European and Chinese traditional songs. I was especially taken by the passionate performance of the Neapolitan classic, "Santa Lucia!", and the sheer power and majesty of "Legend of the Dragon". It must be gently said that the concert was a bit of a financial success for the society, with several thousand dollars raised. As an entirely volunteer organisation that receives no outside grants, events like this are required for our survival. The generosity and support of members of Victoria's Chinese community toward the ACFS have not gone unnoticed, and nor has the exceptional support I was provided by members of the ACFS committee.

This is the first time I've produced a concert and, I must say, it is something that is not unlike other forms of event management. In the relatively recent past, I have organised conventions e.g., "Cyberpunk 2020: Year of the Stainless Steel Rat", "RuneQuest-Glorantha Con DownUnder IV" and "RuneQuest-Glorantha Con DownUnder III" (for the latter, I received the inaugural Greg Stafford Memorial Prize). With common characteristics, event management is essentially a subset of project management, which means that it is a unique activity that involves multiple people and is time-dependent. It involves having a governance structure, organising a team, reporting, timetabling, being very aware of dependencies and, as the production-project manager, being very sensitive to tolerances and being prepared to pick up the pieces very quickly when things go wrong. More than a decade ago, I actually did a graduate degree in project management, along with PRINCE2 certification. If you're ever involved in organising events, my notes on this subject might be helpful.
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