The Great Sears Catalog of Imperfections

[gurdonark]

When I was a child in a small town, we did not have many stores. At Christmas time, we chose our desired gifts from the Sears and Penney catalogs. My family was very generous at Christmas. Each child was permitted to wish list "three big things", which meant twenty to twenty five dollar things, and "three little things", which meant things under ten dollars. I do not recall ever being disappointed at Christmas, and some gifts I remember using for months, and in rare instances, years, after the day itself.

It's become the chic thing to do to blame everything in one's life on the effect of others in one's childhood. As with so many things, this is a matter of degree. Some folks are dealt really horrid hands, suffering abuse, neglect or, to make light of the situation, musicals involving the lyrics of Lorenz Hart. So many of the rest of us, though, have to resist the temptation to blame everything we aren't and may never be upon some quirk or flaw in our upbringing.

Without meaning to minimize any manifold sins and wickedness which my parents, my kindergarten teacher and my junior high football coach should humbly confess, I am enchanted with the idea that on some level, we "choose" many of our day to day flaws. We make choices about who we are, and we make them so persistently that they seem hard-wired. This can be good--I'm glad I made the choice that I love to read anything in sight. But it also serves as a very compelling explanation for what I do wrong as well. When I was five or six, I obviously prioritized organizational skills very low. As a result, the demon I always fight is the demon of how to straighten things up. It's almost as though I'm missing a gene for it, as I'm certainly not afraid of hard work, and yet even with hard work this comes very difficult to me. A similar flaw is my natural tendency to be a "loner" more than a "joiner". What toddler advantage did I perceive in this?

Rather than attribute all my many failings to my parents, our American free enterprise system or even a creative temperament, I prefer to think that much of this is a big Sears Christmas catalog. As I chose my "three big things" and "three little things", I must have made an alternative list for "crosses I wish to bear in this life". Santa Claus came at our home on Christmas Eve, inevitably when we were out driving around our neighborhood looking at none-too-remarkable-but-utterly-enchanting xmas lights after a meal of "bone in" (i.e., T-bone) steaks. I see now that he also left me the choices I made, on an invisible list I did not realize I was compiling, but whose gifts I now savor.

I am tempted to thank Santa, and the Sears Roebuck Christmas catalog, for all the choices I've made that lead me to various of the blind alleys I'm in. I'd like to ask for the Sears catalog to resume production, though. You see, I've decided that my "three big things" and "three little things" on the flaw list need replacing, and Wal-Mart doesn't have what I want. I'll choose new flaws--a creative temperament, too much compassion, and an obsession for neatness, say--and I'll be under warranty for at least the next forty years. Thank you, Santa. Thank you, Sears. Most of all, I thank myself for all my many flaws.

Comments

[reneesarah.livejournal.com]

At some point Andy Rooney will get tired of doing what he does on the 60 Minutes Show. I have been tired of what he does for quite some time, and have only been waiting for him to catch up with me. Should he retire (hopefully soon) and they need someone to explore the nuances of Ameican culture, and to provide literate and often humorous reflections upon personal life- I nominate you.

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

What a kind thing to say, except, of course, I'm no Andy Rooney.

Re:

[reneesarah.livejournal.com]

And thank God for that I say. He is much older than you, and often tedious.

[voodoukween.livejournal.com]

hear ye! hear ye!

i been telling him


he's way better than David Sedaris and i like David a lot

[reneesarah.livejournal.com]

Yes he is! And he is better than David Sedaris every day! He could go pro, write books, have a syndicated column. Do the Texas version of Prairie Home Companion. Or something entirely new. A gift like that is a wonderful thing.

Re:

[voodoukween.livejournal.com]

i agree

[holyoutlaw.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think we make many more choices in our life than we think we do. Or that "society" allows us to think are possible.

My ex wife worked for Bell right out of college, early 70s until the break up. She lived very carefully and saved her money scrupulously. She also liked her job and was hard working, and in 1984 was able to quit to take a few years off to write. When she gave notice, she was surprised at the number of people who came up to her and expressed great envy about not having to work. These were people who lived in the suburbs, ate most of their meals in restaurants, drove in to work. My ex lived in the city, rode the bus to work, ate at home most often. She had a substantial comic book budget, but a nonexistent movie or concert budget. So, she made some choices outside the mainstream.

I'm the youngest, and there's a five year gap between me and my next youngest sibling. I used to bemoan the fact that I was the youngest, and missed out on some of the family traditions that faded as my elder sibs went to high school and college. But the real advantage is I just got to make more of my own choices, for better or worse, than my older brother and sisters did. And for that I'm glad. Yeah!

So, thank you to Santa and the Sears Catalog from here, too. Hah!

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I like those simplicity books and groups which point out that if one rents a place, rides the bus or uses a modest car, eats in, and checks out books at the library, life does not require as much hassle. I don't live that way, but I'm always amused, because so many folks I grew up with lived only in that way, but they didn't start a movement!

[holyoutlaw.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of an essay I read in (I think) the Utne Reader a few years ago that pointed out how class based the "simplicity" movement was (and is, I guess). Making the same point you do above -- that people who HAVE to live "simply" don't always like it. People who CHOOSE to "simplify" their lifestyles -- usually by buying lots of books and even subscribing to magazines about simplicity -- can see it as noble.

I'm always amused when I see someone else turn something I do into a movement or at least a how-to book. Hah!

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I liked that Utne article, too!

[voodoukween.livejournal.com]

being a loner is no flaw!

there are many of us who are not joiners and there are good and essential reasons for it

it is not a defect

nor a "result" of any family practice

it is a distinction between personality types

all of which are valid, important and of equal importance

in fact Carl Jung designated 4 basic personality types, not the 2 opposites so common in conversation

ever take the test?

colleges now use it as a foundation in career counseling

honor your attributes

i no longer make enemies of any parts of myself therefore what and who i am is a gift to the world

everything is as it is meant to be

we have so much to offer this world

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I still have trouble with that idea, everything is as it's meant to be.....

must ponder.

Re:

[voodoukween.livejournal.com]

it's a bit much to swallow at times

and can be very soothing