The Grand Question of Mediocrity

[gurdonark]

I liked that director's cut of the film Amadeus. The central plot device of the movie really works for me. Imagine that you are a practiced and expert musician. Imagine that you have worked so hard for your craft. Then imagine an upstart appears, a prodigy given an apparently "God given" talent which will guarantee him a place in history, just as your lack of talent will deny you your own illustrious place. This old time morality play about grace and talent makes for an interesting film.

I think that in life most of us must find ways to be mediocre with aplomb. For that matter, I think many of us *do* find how to accept our mediocrity.
Some go through denial about it. Some are depressed about it. Some rage against the lack of the light.
Good Heavens...some people even deal with it by being truly talented. But many just learn how to just be...mediocre.

The problem in Amadeus, of course, is not that Salieri lacks all gifts. God has given Salieri the ability to discern Mozart's genius. Therein lies the seeds of his damnation. Blessed are those with genius, perhaps, but less blessed are those who can spot it without having any.

Like most people, I feel like a Salieri most of the time. But I work really hard not to live in that "I must be a genius or I am nothing" place to which the movie character is driven. I am much more inclined to wallow in my mediocrity, and try to find humor in it. That's perhaps also just a "strategy", but it largely works for me.

I got a wonderful chess knight mail art from Jean Kusina, the wonderful mail artist who first encouraged me to get into the pastime. I also got a nice exchange from patchouli. My book did indeed sell for 2.22, which has a TV sitcom poetry to it. I got a nice note from a recipient of another copy of my book, for which I am grateful.

I got some work done today, but must get more done tomorrow. I did get a chance to hike a part of the Trinity Trail. I started at the "other end", nine miles away from my usual ingress. I walked through fields deep in grasses and red and purple summer weed flowers. I saw a sensitive plant. It looks like a fern in the middle of the sun, but in fact its leaves will "fold in" when touched. Many of these had yellow flowers in the shape of little dandelions. I have to admit I really enjoyed touching them and watching the leaves shrink over and over again. It's probably not kind to the plant, but it's so....reactive.

I got in something in the mail that will help me equal a scale. I'm always glad when a hare-brained idea looks like a really smart wabbit thought of it.
Tomorrow I must complete my 2 last nervousness exchanges. I was told weeks ago that the only LMAO I signed up for is on its way, but it has not arrived.
Meanwhile, friend scottm tells me that his 4 track is almost in hand and ready for a recording session. I am one electric football field away from
Genesis. I mean Creation, not Phil Collins.....

I am going with my friends to their Baptist church on tomorrow. I have not set foot in a Baptist church other than for weddings for over 20 years, as I was neither raised nor interested in that denomination, though I grew up in a Missionary Baptist town.
I understand the hymns will be "contemporary", which is too bad, because I do a pretty mean version of "Were You There" and "What a Friend We Have in Jesus".

Comments

mediocrity

[inushnu.livejournal.com]

Of course i understand the basics of this post but there is a part of me that screams to the absurdity that it can't be ok to live a peasants life with brilliance and "genius". We start honestly subscribing to mentality that "genius" is only a given in some and we miss all the points of light that create this remarkable cosmos in which we are blessed to live.

Of course you expected this response... Perhaps "I" am in denial but its how I live... certain that the place I am in glows a bit brighter because I am in it....

I have killed my brain today in an experiment today er today? um right.. today... that I can not remember to cite. Have a great time in that baptist church =)

I agree that it is all in how you define the problem

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I think that you've hit on the root of the problem.
If we redefined "genius" as being the ability to live one's own life in the moment, day to day, then
the movie Amadeus did not portray and genius and a man longing for genius, but instead merely two failed lives.

[laruth.livejournal.com]

Mediocrity is hard to deal with - which is why I think reality TV has such a big rise in popularity. It allows your "average Joe" to have their moment of fame, and to rise out of the seas of mediocrity that surrounds many of us.

As long as we're trying out best, and live a full life as possible, then who cares about fame ;)

It can be hard

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I agree that mediocrity can be hard to deal with.
I remember in uni the shock of meeting people much brighter than I was, whereas in high school I thought I was as bright as anyone I met. I also remember wanting to be a very good chessplayer, and working at it reasonably hard, and then finding that I was only good, and then only if I stopped trying so hard.

That's an interesting insight about why we watch reality TV. I'd never thought of it that way.

Re: It can be hard

[nacowafer.livejournal.com]

I think we watch reality tv because it lets us (the viewer) feel superior to those losers (the participants), and, therefore, less mediocre ourselves. We don't watch because we care about the potential for "average Joe fame." Who wants fame for idiocy? I don't understand why anyone would want to be famous for any reason.

Case in point: Bachelorettes in Alaska, which I watched last night after I got in bed out of sheer laziness. These people are just sad.

Re: It can be hard

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

That's an interesting point about why one watches reality TV. I don't watch the current new wave of such shows, but that's for a similar reason--
I feel sadly superior to those involved in making, appearing in or watching them.

I have a notion that I call "the right kind of fame".
A fame in which people know one whom one would like to know one. Where one is famous enough to have a pool of kindred spirit admirers, but not well enough to
be recognized in public generally. I think that folk singers and poets have this kind of fame. I am a small enough person that this type of fame would be attractive to me.

Mediocre tapioca

[mouchette.livejournal.com]

It's funny, but the most amazing people I've met are all afraid of being mediocre. Whereas those convinced of their own genius are usually rather dull and uninspired.

I think even to have the fear of being mediocre means one will never be mediocre. If that makes sense.

Ho hum ... now if I apply that to myself ...

Well, let's not go there.

But there is an exception to this hastily scribbled 'rule.' That's insanity. Anyone insane can geniunly think themselves a genius and often truly be one. I'm thinking of the tortured people - the Artauds etc. They know that, even if not a 'genius' they are a Somebody producing a Something that no-one but they could have produced, thought or felt.

Re: Mediocre tapioca

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

Yes, and when one is insane, one no longer has the "guidelines" or rules with which to evaluate the value of what one does. I think the result is often weird and appealing juxtaposition. I think escaping mediocrity sometimes means unlearning what everyone knows.

[burninggirl.livejournal.com]

What exactly constitutes a "contemporary" hymn? I've been to church exactly twice in my life (not counting the numerous funerals I've been to), and it was an Anglican church both times. I've always liked churches and been interested in the different types, though the actual services make me nervous.

Contemporary hymns

[scott-m.livejournal.com]

Seeing as how I'm the one who issued the invitation to
church, I should have a go at giving you a definition.

Basically they're religious songs that are influenced by pop
music. There's not a lot of deep theology in them, and
they repeat A LOT. They're also known as "Contemporary
Christian Music (CCM)" and "Praise Choruses." Here in
the U.S. there are radio stations that devote themselves
entirely to this kind of music.

I do not believe that the devil has all the best music, but
I also believe that CCM hasn't done God's side any favors.

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

My friend scottm hit it head on. I'll try to dig up some mp3.com references, so you can hear the difference.

The Patron Saint of Mediocrity

[gregwest98.livejournal.com]

I always related to Salieri. I felt too that I was a pretty sharp cookei, able to recognize genius on others but unable to create anything of lasting fame/fortune myself.

Call it what you will; that's how I felt (and feel). I'm working through it; indeed I'm about this far (imagine my finger and thumb really close together) from posting my magnum opus to my journal that may mesh nicely with these thoughts.

Re: The Patron Saint of Mediocrity

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I thought all afternoon about your comment. I know you so well, but then again, I have not spent nearly enough time with you in so many years. I am one of your greatest admirers, you know, so I'll arrogantly try to address your feelings in the light of your comment.

Of course we are all Salieris, but sometimes we don't even know which muse we wish God to grant us. In your case, your particular dream in college was a dream that, with hindsight, you certainly had the gifts to achieve, but which you just did not have the motive force, if you will, to put in the work to achieve it.
That you made a strong near miss is just a tribute to your doughty
hobbit-like qualities. You never have to take a LJ poll on which
Tolkien character are you, because you're a hobbit every time.
I see myself as a sort of Tom Bombadil, btw, but that's an awfully arrogant thing to say. I guess 18 years of law practice has permitted me to take liberties of ego that college boy you knew would never have taken.

But let's look at the Salieri question head on. Neither you nor I were in any way so wrapped into our particular wish(es) for achievement that we would devote the energy or in particular the worry into the goal. We have known a true Salieri, though, in the person of your friend Dan M. I don't think Dan ever knew he was a Salieri, what with getting into JHMS and all, but I'm sure you'll agree with me that he truly was the Patron Saint of Mediocrity,
held aloft by hard work and a good brain, but not at all a genius.
Yet, he would not have that moment of insight that you or I might have that he is not the genius he set out to be. Of course, people morph about a bit, and he may have reached that pinnacle now, but my instinct is not. God grant him the grace never to have that Salieri self-awareness, or that Salieri self-deceit.

But in your case, I have always been vicariously proud of you.
You took a PhD which required much more aptitude than your original dream. You chose to pursue your dream of rocket science when
an easy life in academia was *right in the palm of your hand*, becasue that was your dream. You then chose to change careers to give your family the life they deserved rather than a workers' box in SV. You're neither Salieri nor Mozart....you're the brainy saintly equivalent of the salt of the earth...but I'll bet there's days when you just taste the salt, isn't that right?

I would trade two Bill Nelson CDs and the copyright on my first chess book to accomplish 1/20th as much as you have.

As my old friend RLS might say, with a huff, Salieri, indeed! (grin).

Re: The Patron Saint of Mediocrity

[gregwest98.livejournal.com]

Hah! My employer has made available some on-line personality tests that are apparently to help us decide what we want to be when we grow up. My results came out to:

salt of the earth.

I like it better when a message like yours tells me that though.

Boy, I hate it when I look back on a post and see spelling errors. Sheesh!

Re: The Patron Saint of Mediocrity

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

You know my mom was a guidance counsellor.
She gave me one of those "would you rather watch a parade or be made fun of at a parade?" quizes.
My test came back with a clear answer:
"he should be a priest or a plumber".

Re: The Patron Saint of Mediocrity

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

oh, and I know what you mean about spelling errors.
I make so many! All poor proofreading--I'm a good speller, and it's irritating to look like a bad one.
And grammar! Let's not talk about how many omitted articles and misplaced phrases and fragmented sentences my journal entries and comments have. I'm always having to edit the entries, but I don't know of a way to edit the comment.

The thing I hate the worst, though, is when I see a comment I've made to someone that is just so damn
advice oriented. I sometimes have to comment that
I'm sorry I gave advice in the first comment.