inward focus

[gurdonark]

"And though it's part of the Lone Star State
people don't seem to care,
they just keep on lookin' to the East"--old Doobie Brothers song

When I was 26, I had a maroon Colt Vista, a strange station wagon that pretended it was a mini-van. On Sundays, in lieu of church at the Mesquite methodist church where the congregation seemed to have settled into the afterlife right in their pews, I'd take myself for long drives.

I first went down country highways I knew. Then, as soon as possible, I deviated onto little farm to market roads. My rule was simple--make each turn a turn down a roadway I had not been down before. I'd drive along the country highways, gasping at fields of flowers, rural churches or failing barns from a different day. I always meant to take pictures, and have scrapbooks of a passing moment. But I never did.

I'd listen to "Praire Home Companion" on the radio, and completely relax from the stress that was my work week. I had no real goal in these drives, other than to find some rest, and see the world around me as if every little country place held a world of possibility.

Although I tried to stay on paved roads, once I got deeply stuck in a muddy lane. A man and his son, on dirt bike motorcycles, happened by. They spent a good bit of time helping me get my car out of the mud. They declined my offer of payment when we had done so.

I've taken many restorative drives in the succeeding years,
winding through the Angeles National Forest, or whiling away time in rural Collin County prairie lanes. I've seen a bit of the wide world since those days. But I do not remember experiencing wonder as completely as I did on those drives.

Lately, I find my journal a bit more inward-obsessed than I wish it to be. I want to recapture that sense of driving past decaying barns, and imagining I had discovered America.

Comments

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

"I want to recapture that sense of driving past decaying barns, and imagining I had discovered America."

and the moon rose over an open field. your posts keep bringing strong visual images to mind, which doesn't often happen (i'm not primarily a visual person). i can see midwestern barns, dusty roads out in the countryside, trees in blazing foliage. if you do write more to capture that sense, i'll be along for the ride!

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I like to write visually, although I feel that I do not really "live" visually all that much. I wrote this post as a "not this, but do that", but instead I think I'd like to say "I want to expand in this way".

[nacowafer.livejournal.com]

Lately, I find my journal a bit more inward-obsessed than I wish it to be.

I find I prefer the more introspective entries. But that's probably just my own bias related to how I use my own journal. But I like reading about you better than reading about you once- or twice-removed from a situation. That probably doesn't make sense...But it got me thinking.

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I am always intrigued about what people respond to and don't respond to in posts. Lately, I feel that I write more introspective material a fair bit of the time, and yet it doesn't work as well for people. But part of why I try to write lots of different ways is to not give my journal a "same-ness". I think that may be a forelorn hope--avoidance of redundancy--because I think about 5 things, and say them over and over. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this--I'm sure the word "I" won't be disappearing from my posts any time soon.

[nacowafer.livejournal.com]

I'm sure the word "I" won't be disappearing from my posts any time soon.

Well, I, for one, am glad!

[laruth.livejournal.com]

Although I tried to stay on paved roads, once I got deeply stuck in a muddy lane. A man and his son, on dirt bike motorcycles, happened by. They spent a good bit of time helping me get my car out of the mud. They declined my offer of payment when we had done so.

This sounds like something from HeroicStories.com!

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I'll have to check that site out!

Piru

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

Once at the lake near Piru, just off that highway that winds so much, I ran into a little chapparal fire. It made an interesting light on the hills. Nobody worried about it--fire's a southern CA ecology thing, but just watched it burn and made sure it didn't threaten anything or anyone.

Texas has tons of small towns, unlike southern CA. I like, though, that Mohave is so far out, and then it is really small town USA.

I'll check out that book. Thanks!