on finding quotes in paperbacks, wisdom on the back of envelopes

[gurdonark]

"But goodness alone is never enough. A hard cold wisdom is required, too, for goodness to accomplish good"--Robert Heinlein

Lately I wonder if the wisest things I've read come from science fiction novels in which improbable stories filled with hastily approximated science speculation combine with dubious philosophy to create a complex brew, purely to entertain. I think that genre fiction, and in particular science fiction, features a wonderful willingness to seek a certain profundity that "literary" fiction lacks. Science fiction characters continually start new religions, or liberate dispossessed peoples, or have their entire universe-view altered by an exchange with an alien, and yet more human, species of beings. Too many short literary short stories, by contrast, seem stuck on "Aunt Lacey and Uncle Raymond work hard all their lives, and they don't understand me and my MFA". I sometimes like people who dream big more than people who dream precisely. Yet, I also like people who believe their dreams can sometimes come true.

Today a buyer from Italy agreed to pay the magnificent sum of 4 dollars for "Chess Poems for the Tournament Player". He wrote me a kind e mail asking if he could send Euros in cash form through the mail. I had to use the upps.gov search engine to ascertain that it would cost 2 dollars and 40 cents to mail the book to Italy. A chess poet from California, meanwhile, sent me a nice e mail expressing appreciation for her copy, which touched me very much. I like to write light entertainments, meant to delight a very few in a very particular way. When something I do achieves this goal, I feel a sense of accomplishment.

Comments

[nacowafer.livejournal.com]

Too many short literary short stories, by contrast, seem stuck on "Aunt Lacey and Uncle Raymond work hard all their lives, and they don't understand me and my MFA".

Eep. I hope that's not alluding to my recent efforts! How dreadful it all sounds...

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

No, no! Your stories are wonderful. You write about Darger and Corenll and rabbits and real stuff! That was not a personal jibe at all. I love your stories.

[nacowafer.livejournal.com]

Well that's a relief! I guess I was just projecting my own fears onto your words. Geesh. I'm a nut-case. Not that my stories are "literary," so of course you weren't referring to my efforts. Sorry!

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I don't think you're a nut case at all. You're cool!

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

Oh, hope I didn't offend you enough to send you off this mortal coil!

[nacowafer.livejournal.com]

Oh, no! I'm just inordinately (even for me) pissy lately, especially with regards to livejournal. Last night I deleted several fine folks from my friends list because I simply cannot bear to read their journals. They lead these idyllic (it seems to me anyway) lives that make me seethe with envy. I just can't take it anymore. I can't read about their 9-5 art-making binges while I'm sitting at my desk at work. I just can't take it anymore. It makes me want to puke. I can't stand the "worries" some have about being full-time students. Boo-hoo. And the flat-out bragging. Several of them go on and on about their "inner critics" when it isn't apparent that they even have one. It makes me really dislike them and they don't deserve that. And you don't deserve to hear this, but that's what's been bothering me lately. That and they never commented to any of my entries anyway. I'm a hair's breadth away from deleting my journal and just trying to distance myself from everything here.

[gurdonpoems.livejournal.com]

I understand. I would miss you if you deleted. You never need to worry about whether I "deserve" to hear something, because for one reason or another, you crossed long ago into that place in my book in which you don't have to worry about being emotive or down, you still seem fascinating to me.

I wish I had some wise word to help you move past this comparison and competition you feel, but I really don't. I see jealousy of one sort or another seem to gnaw at your journal character, but I think it's good that you put your feelings down, because that's how I think feelings get processed.

As far as deleting people who don't comment, that makes perfect sense to me to do. I never do it because I just don't worry about it much, but it's a normal part of journal management.

I hope I haven't been part of the trigger of your dissatisfaction, because I really like you, and enjoy reading your journal. But if ever LJ gets more burden than benefit, then delete it without a second thought.

One of my LJ friends deletes hers regularly, ,with the intention to reinstate. I don't do that, but it's a fun idea.

[nacowafer.livejournal.com]

Thanks for understanding. That means a lot to me. I don't think I'll delete because I have gotten so much out of this experiment, but I hate that, in a way, I even feel a bit disenfranchised here. Does that makes sense? It's basically a universe of my own creation, and I still don't fit in, feel comfortable. I just feel so out of sorts lately. I hope it passes. Maybe after my birthday--I think I'm dreading it.

a third path

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I think that "not fitting in your own skin" is a journal theme for you, so it's no surprise that it crops up over and over. You created this character in this way for this reason--but what is this reason? Even altered features this theme.

From the first time I read your journal, in which you mentioned cactus if I recall, you've always seemed to me to be full of high spirits, heights and depths, wit, wisdom, and sheer, raw maturation in progress. I don't know where you're heading next, though I think that your 30th birthday is not the turnstile you're approaching. Deep down you're far too practical to live in this funk when your theories of life prove unworkable. But which theories should you adopt instead? Only you will work this out. I show a lot of my stray theories in my journal, but I don't think they're cut to fit you.

The "universe of your own creation" comment is very astute. You created this universe in which you would not fit in. You melodramatize the alienation, because this alienation matters to you. What is this sense teaching you? What do you wish to learn?
All rhetorical, but as you would say to yourself "missy, you'll have to settle down and just enjoy yourself, sooner or later".

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

But no matter how you feel, or how often (or how well) you express that feeling, you still seem like a good friend to me.

[nacowafer.livejournal.com]

Tnanks! You seem like a good friend to me, too. Which, I guess, is why I feel I can tell you these (sort of ugly) things.

[salaryman.livejournal.com]

there's a great essay about the monotony of 'literature' in the new "McSweeney's Tales of Adventure."

I love buying obscure used sf & crime paperbacks at garage sales because i get to talk to the person who just read it.

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I like being able to write to authors, too!

[nancyjane.livejournal.com]

always a bonus :)

[missprune.livejournal.com]

Your observation about the profundity that's possible (and so appropriate) in science fiction was an Aha for me. I am going to pass it on to my son the aspiring writer who has a definite flair for sci fi and fantasy - and now I think i see part of the reason why it "fits" him.
Thanks!

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I hope he writes the next "Dune"!

[cosmolinguist]

I sometimes like people who dream big more than people who dream precisely.

You rock. It's so fun to have you on my friends page. :-)

(Robert Heinlein is one of my heroes. He's what got me into science fiction, which I'd have to call my favorite genre.)

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm glad you're on my list, too.