killer ennui
Apr. 22nd, 2003 10:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gurdonarkWhen I was younger, world-weariness was the rage. Bowie and Roxy Music made disaffection somehow chic, with a knowing wink. In novels in 70s vogue such as Brideshead Revisited, ennui acquired a romantic opulence--one not only wished one suffered more from it,but the charming character of Julia Flyte made one rather wish one could sleep with ennui. One wished to sleep with boredom--in the most sophisticated way. Meanwhile, closer to home, ennui was a suburban staple, much like the neighborhood cook-out.
But I've decided that ennui is a tragic luxury. Mephistopheles wins more souls with world-weariness than she ever did with promises of winning Yankees seasons. When I was younger, we disdained everything--material success, people who partied, popular people. We even disdained those who disdained. But I wonder if our ennui was not just as malignant as those things we rejected.
Yet another spouse was arraigned this week after a ghastly episode in which he is alleged to have expressed his boredom in his marriage by assasinating his wife and unborn child rather than merely setting up house with his lover. I have no idea if this set of allegations is true, although too many convictions of other miscreant spouses convince me that marital boredom is a homicidal menace. I always want to ask the dentist's spouse why running over her husband with a car multiple times seemed preferable to just suing for divorce and a favorable community property split. I blame it all on boredom--fatal boredom.
But my nightly news shows me pictures of admirable young servicemen and women, doing a duty imposed by politicians thousands of miles away, trying desperately to win a peace after winning a war. A child handed four of them an explosive device last week. My newspaper tells me of Iraqi children who pick up souvenirs of war, only to find out that they are cluster bomblets. My radio tells me tales of looters who denude priceless treasures, and ship them to Europe and the United States. As the water and electricity are being restored in a foreign capital, the local economy remains in collapse. There is no time for boredom there. There is only the moment to be lived.
I wonder if real living really requires a tragedy, though. Perhaps ennui is like the SARS virus in the news. It kills for reasons I do not understand. All I know is that it must be quarantined, and it will pass. I am bored of boredom--of world weariness. There's just too much to do in this world to be so consistently tired of it. My first draft of this post dissolved in the ether, and I almost said "I'm too tired to write it all again". But is everything in my life going to be done only if it is easy to do? I hope not. I got my "ennui ya ya's" out. Now, I wish to do, and not be bored of the unspent effort of possible deeds.
But I've decided that ennui is a tragic luxury. Mephistopheles wins more souls with world-weariness than she ever did with promises of winning Yankees seasons. When I was younger, we disdained everything--material success, people who partied, popular people. We even disdained those who disdained. But I wonder if our ennui was not just as malignant as those things we rejected.
Yet another spouse was arraigned this week after a ghastly episode in which he is alleged to have expressed his boredom in his marriage by assasinating his wife and unborn child rather than merely setting up house with his lover. I have no idea if this set of allegations is true, although too many convictions of other miscreant spouses convince me that marital boredom is a homicidal menace. I always want to ask the dentist's spouse why running over her husband with a car multiple times seemed preferable to just suing for divorce and a favorable community property split. I blame it all on boredom--fatal boredom.
But my nightly news shows me pictures of admirable young servicemen and women, doing a duty imposed by politicians thousands of miles away, trying desperately to win a peace after winning a war. A child handed four of them an explosive device last week. My newspaper tells me of Iraqi children who pick up souvenirs of war, only to find out that they are cluster bomblets. My radio tells me tales of looters who denude priceless treasures, and ship them to Europe and the United States. As the water and electricity are being restored in a foreign capital, the local economy remains in collapse. There is no time for boredom there. There is only the moment to be lived.
I wonder if real living really requires a tragedy, though. Perhaps ennui is like the SARS virus in the news. It kills for reasons I do not understand. All I know is that it must be quarantined, and it will pass. I am bored of boredom--of world weariness. There's just too much to do in this world to be so consistently tired of it. My first draft of this post dissolved in the ether, and I almost said "I'm too tired to write it all again". But is everything in my life going to be done only if it is easy to do? I hope not. I got my "ennui ya ya's" out. Now, I wish to do, and not be bored of the unspent effort of possible deeds.
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ennui
Date: 2003-04-22 09:03 pm (UTC)when we were kids
"bored? WE never had TIME to be bored!"
then she would give us that look
that let us know
if we didn't find something to do
SHE'D find us something to do
that we probably WOULDN'T WANT to do
she instilled the same ethic in my son
or helped to
yes, boredom kills
it kills the soul
but most of us
really don't have the TIME to be bored
if we just look around
and try to find
what we WANT to do
Re: ennui
Date: 2003-04-23 01:37 pm (UTC)Re: ennui
Date: 2003-04-23 03:56 pm (UTC)oui? ennui...
~paul
no subject
no subject
Date: 2003-04-23 01:35 pm (UTC)ennui's a killer, to be sure
Date: 2003-04-23 06:08 am (UTC)And you're right. What a luxury to be afflicted with the ennui bug. How obnoxious. Is it too late to be cured?
Re: ennui's a killer, to be sure
Date: 2003-04-23 01:36 pm (UTC)But I hope it's not contagious, like SARS!
interesting...
Date: 2003-04-24 09:27 pm (UTC)"I wonder if our ennui was not just as malignant as those things we rejected." interesting... not knowing what, specifically you rejected, it's hard to imagine. rejecting cocaine and recreational drugs as childish and boring, would be a good thing net effect... rejecting a popular person on the basis they were popular, maybe not so much... i suspect the ennui was more of a catch all excuse, similar to answering "nothing!" when parents asked what you were doing, as a teen. if so then the ennui is not solely to blame.
fatal boredom - still trying to grasp that concept, maybe you can elaborate. not saying it doesn't exist but what would the nature of it be? apart from the symptoms... boredom as a motivation i suppose is what you are saying. i thought boredom was characterized by a lack of specific motivation, premeditated murder seems pretty specific, and carrying it out would require some determination, conviction, in most, but not every case. but the idea still intrigues me as to whether or not it could exist.
tragedy causing "really living" -- the only way i can imagine knowing if one is really living is to feel that one is really alive... i suppose that could be caused by tragedy. i think it's equally possible and valid that tragedies cause figurative deaths of some people... walking wounded comes to mind. paralyzed by fear, disassociative feelings... etc. also feeling extreme pleasure, has been noted to cause people to feel very alive, as well as experience "les petits morts"
easy vs boring - now i have a clue as to what boring is as experienced by you personally, tedium. possibly repetition. i can't say tedium is exciting for me either, per se. i can say i spoil myself by avoiding it fairly successfully. maybe it's a fault as well.
ok so as usual you've given me a lot to think about. thanks robert ;) ..