if I'd become a horticulturalist I might feel more rooted

[gurdonark]

Yesterday I demolished some cookies lying around our office, which is odd, because in theory nowadays cookies are the exception rather than the rule in my life. Perhaps I have some secret, unmet soul need which I'm desperately trying to assuage--but I think I just like the chocolate chips. I was looking at yet another of my "thrift sale purchases" (for some reason, my life happens in 50 cent bursts these days), a Time/Life book on "Indoor Foliage Plants". The author was a professional horticulturalist. Maybe I would eat fewer cookies if I'd been a horticulturalist. Imagine--all those plants, all that "I'm in touch with the good green earth and I'm fine with that", and all that "ma'am, this abutilon will grow nicely if you don't plant it in direct sunlight". No doubt by now I could own my own nursery, which would be cool, because then I would not hesitate when I try to spell nursery the way I do now.

I knew one woman in college slightly who was a horticulture major.
My university, the University of Arkansas, was the sort of place where the only programs with national prestige were agriculture, architecture and creative writing. You know, plants, plans, plaints. This woman, a friend of a close friend of mine, always seemed so down to earth and "in touch". Dragging potted trees around open lots makes one in touch. I think she's out horting culture someplace in the mountain country, and probably raising kids who those "unfettered natural beauty" smiles. By contrast, the only one of my close friends in college who spent time in the agriculture department was the fellow who went to their "farm products store" to buy the 2 1/2 gallon box of milk, complete with the little plastic hose for pouring milk into one's cereal. I had a roommate for part of my freshman year who wanted to be a county extension agent. I imagine it would be fun to drive from farm to farm, dispensing brochures and advice. Maybe I've missed my true calling--maybe I was born to be much greener than I am. But any look at any non-cactus houseplant I have ever owned suggests that I am probably more suitably employed as is.

I'm sure this is somehow a hangover from those James Herriott books I've been re-reading. I love those books, because they so romanticize a life I so much don't lead. I don't think I'd be country vet material, although Yorkshire in the 30s sounds like a happenin' place. I always think it mildly tacky when lawyers write those "cases I have won" books, so I am afraid I must stick to bad poetry and forelorn efforts to write bad novels instead.
I do rather want to write a law careers book someday, but that task is set aside for now, as I have my novel next month to write on.

Meanwhile, my quest for local craft classes has been less fruitful than I had hoped. I found a great early November class on odd art book binding, one day of fun, down in Dallas. But my local crafts stores are offering classes in "jewelry making", "cake decorating" and other similar not-me skills, so I will have to keep on looking.
My wife says that our local parks department has crafts classes, and I know our local community college does, but so far I'm very U2 as far as finding what I'm looking for.

I have a busy Friday ahead, and I'm eager to go and live it.

Comments

[burninggirl.livejournal.com]

I love those books too. : )

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I like all those books, but the first two in particular just transport me. :)

[marstokyo.livejournal.com]

I thought you WERE a big houseplant guy. Didn't you suggest that? I need help with my jade plant. I have NEVER had a jade plant yet that lived. They keep dropping their leaves. I hate that. What am i doing wrong? it gets plenty of sun, I only water it when it's dry-- what the hell?

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I am a very big houseplant guy, but I do almost entirely succulent plants. I do terraria as well from time to time. But ferns, I can't do.

Jade plant is odd, easy to overwater, easy to give too little light, easy to burn in the sun. Sometimes it works great for us, but sometimes not at all.

[(Anonymous)]

i've known a few plant ho's. binomials...i loved it when they talked latin to me

as far as crafts go: dude, you can teach YOUR OWN SELF everything and anything. get the info from the net or library

good luck on the novel writing. once you get that first one out of the way, just think how easy the second one will be, etc etc

there is, thank god, no equivalent marathoner for poets. lets hope it stays that way

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I think you're right on crafts. I just won an ebay auction for this really cool 1932 Brit book on teaching schools to book bind, so I'm psyched!

I love that idea--1000 poems in 30 days. It's too bad I'm not a webmaster type.

[gregwest98.livejournal.com]

But you *are* a webmaster! This right here is a web site where you could shovel poetry as fast as you could go. Or create another journal: marathonpoetry.

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

Good point. I have some 25 in the "memories" vault already.

[microbie.livejournal.com]

As for the "down-to-earth" quality, I think one can't work with plants and animals a lot and also be a control freak. Probably the first thing one learns in agriculture or horticulture is patience.

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

That is a very good point!

[theodicy.livejournal.com]

INTERVIEWER: Miss Parker, please give us a sentence using the word "horticulture."

DOROTHY PARKER: You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think.

[(Anonymous)]

didnt she also say "classes are for asses"...or maybe it was mae west

what fresh hell is this?

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

Dorothy Parker was great for sayings like "horticulture"

RainDrip

[woody77.livejournal.com]

I recently found the secret for watering. RainDrip (http://www.raindrip.com/). It's easy as cake to install, and with the timer, you just need to replace the batteries every once in a while.

Our ficas went from surviving to thriving in two weeks. It's doubled the number of leaves on it in that time. It's going bonkers. Amazing.

I ran it mostly outdoors, but it can also be done indoors as well, although running the tubing gets a bit more creative indoors. I brought a tube up through the floor to the ficas down by the trip (advantages of hardwood... :).

They also have fine misters that will work well for ferns, although I think Bostons will do okay without mist.

Now, you only have to worry about sunlight. :)

Re: RainDrip

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the referral. Drip irrigation is great, and I'll have to check this one out.

[mesawyou.livejournal.com]

U of A is known for creative writing??? hee hee

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

Yes, for some reason any university in a mountain hamlet tries to become a creative writing school--it must be the deleteroius effects of altitude. The poet Miller Williams headed up that department, and the novelist Ellen Gilchrist was one of its products...the sort of place where you get your MFA, then get a job teaching college so that you can have an income while you write your poetry (which nobody reads).