in the empire of the senseless
Jul. 10th, 2002 08:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gurdonarkOne plague was left in reserve, in the event that locusts, frogs, and killing the first born did not work. This plague is called "The Plague of Listening to Legal Education Seminars in which the Speakers are Jury Consultants". I have sat through or listened to many seminars in which the speaker of the seminar's sole purpose has been to point out to me how complex the task is, so that I will hire the specialist in question. In small measure, this can have a purpose. But if you are going to sit me down, via a cassette I actually pay for, *in my own (damn) car*, and tell me how much insight you have into people, then *please* have some insight into *me*, or any human listener, and try not to sound as though you were handing me down some new set of commandments (of which the first commandment is "Thou Shalt Consult No Consultant but Me"), when in fact you are droning on in a monotonic voice with such pearls of wisdom as "someone being Republican in Fresno does not tell you as much about them as a juror as their being Republican in San Francisco". I remember now why I never use jury consultants. I remember now why I like to try things to the judge rather than the jury. Maybe I should go into business, giving seminars to jury consultants on how not to earn my business. Lesson one: drone in a self-aggrandizing tone, as if the sheer pomposity of your tone of voice will make me an instant sell.
Heaven spare us from people whose lives depend on
convincing lawyers that they are psychics.
Heaven spare us from people whose lives depend on
convincing lawyers that they are psychics.
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no subject
Date: 2002-07-10 06:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-07-10 08:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-07-10 09:14 am (UTC)Arrogant is annoying.
Banal and arrogant is intolerable.
Somehow, I'm reminded of a recent job-hunting experience. When I
got laid off, my company offered me the services of a large firm that
works with the recently laid-off. I went to their 3-day seminar and
was impressed-- the seminar leader had some resume tips that I was
glad to employ. The firm offers many services, some of which I wanted to
take advantage of; others, not so much. But when I got a follow-up
call from the employment consultant they had saddled me with, I
swore 'em off entirely. At his request, I faxed him my resume, changed
per the advice of the first fellow. On receiving it, he called me back and
dictated to me the changes HE wanted. Some of it was undoing what
the first fellow suggested. That was only a little galling. What got me
was that he insisted that I include the following gem of a sentence, right
up front:
Innovative technically savvy team player with service-oriented
attitude thriving in dynamic, challenging work environments.
You might not know it by my LJ replies, but I majored in tech writing in
college and wrote for a living for almost 5 years. I have studied many
books devoted to the craft of writing. I have sufficent expertise to
know that that sentence, dictated by him to me word by word, is a
load of banal, meaningless pap-- I was horrified at the idea that some
potential employer might believe that I wrote that piece of junk.
Swallowing my disgust, I raised a polite objection and got back an
arrogant and huffy "I'm the expert and that's what they're looking for"
speech. I told him I'd send the changed resume back to him but never
have. And almost certainly won't. I do not want to work for the person
who might be swayed by such a sentence
no subject
Date: 2002-07-10 09:44 am (UTC)samples, and hints and a library card. I'll do the rest myself.
That said, if you want to borrow my "cool resume" book, just let me know :)
no subject
Date: 2002-07-10 09:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-07-10 09:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-07-10 10:55 am (UTC)i now a woman who is a jury consultant
and she is extra ordinary and will definitely now bore anyone
though i think she greatly limits her practice and does not advertise
perhaps it's those who advertise who are the most banal and arrogant
that door to door salesman meets the informercial world
no subject
Date: 2002-07-10 11:03 am (UTC)Jury selection is to instinctive. One must rely on lots of non-verbal cues, as well as certain externals. A "fresh set of eyes" is always of some use, particularly if one's client is not observant. However, some folks sell themselves as sliced bread type innovators. Hmmmm.....think not!
I'd rather buy a chicken rotisserie from Ron Popeil.
I like chicken!
Re:
Date: 2002-07-10 01:13 pm (UTC)and i liked how you pegged the bad eggs
Fresno
Date: 2002-07-10 02:22 pm (UTC)Once, while in the Ansel Adams gallery in Yosemite, I saw a poster for photographers, listing photographic truisms. One was: "If it is a really great picture, and you see it while driving, there will be absolutely no place to park." Another was: "No good photograph has ever been taken in Fresno." That they would put this on a poster struck me as so funny I started laughing out loud in the hushed reverentual silence of the gallery.
Re: Fresno
Date: 2002-07-10 03:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-07-10 03:36 pm (UTC)Re: Fresno
Date: 2002-07-10 04:23 pm (UTC)Re: Fresno
Date: 2002-07-10 05:26 pm (UTC)Re: Fresno
Date: 2002-07-10 05:38 pm (UTC)Re: Fresno
Date: 2002-07-10 05:42 pm (UTC)Re: Fresno
Date: 2002-07-10 08:45 pm (UTC)If I needed a bookstore there was always Borders in Fresno or Amazon.com. Fresno is too flat, too hot and has too much valley fog for me. I would prefer the gentle lower slopes of the Sierra Nevadas... above the fog and smog, below the snow.