The Missing Fact

[gurdonark]

In my work as an attorney, I hear people's stories about business and sometimes personal matters on a frequent basis. Over time, I have developed a good feeling for what I call the "missing fact". The "missing fact" is the thing which the storyteller won't, can't or does not know to tell me. It's the factual bridge which makes sense of what happens. Usually, the missing fact is one which the storyteller does not know, or has not deduced from the known facts. Once in a while, I must decline a case because the "missing fact" is one I can readily divine, which makes me disinterested in a case. In this way, my work can sometimes acquire a Sherlock Holmes quality. I love this aspect of my work, because intution plays a big part in deciding whether there is a "missing fact", and how to go look for it in the remainder of the case.

Reading LiveJournal entries always reminds me of the "missing fact".
The comparison is somewhat inanalogous, because journals are much more obviously 'novelized' than the less patterned stories I have from folks seeking help for problems. Still, I am always intrigued by how my mind wraps around and sometimes supplies guesses as to withheld or implicit "facts" which arise from the journal. I do not claim any special facility in finding the "right" facts, but instead find I have an almost autonomous need to "color in" the things I think are missing.

It's interesting to me how many journalists drop strong hints about their "missing facts", particularly if the facts are emotional dysfunctions (or, in a few cases, things that the journalist imagines are a failure of personal virtue). In some journals, the missing fact is noted as existing, usually in a parenthetical after describing a "public" flaw. In a few journals, the author seems to me to obviously have something going on in their lives, which I wonder if the author him/herself really has put a finger upon. In some cases, I imagine I can note the fictional parts of the journal from the "real" parts, as the mismatch between something particuarly grandiose and the humdrum remainder sticks out like a sore thumb. I have read a few journals which are intentionally nearly pure novels, and they usually show, whether noted as such or not. Of course, in some cases, I wonder if the "fact" I intuit or deduce from a particular journal exists or is really my own projection. Of course, delving for "missing facts", as in a mystery novel, requires the delver to be prepared to discard working hypotheses as soon as they are disproven, and to attach no real weight to unproven assumptions about what is missing. Still, I cannot imagine doing my work, or effectively reading any autobio narrative, or for that matter any interaction, without some interlineation of "assumed facts".

I wonder if my enjoyment of this quest for the truth "underneath the narrative" is part of why I somewhat unexpectedly came to enjoy doing trial work. I certainly had this facility before I went to law school; a few folks imagine I am a bit psychic for this reason. I don't think I'm psychic, but I am a good reader of stories, and stories always reveal "missing facts".

But now after building the "construct" of this post, with its own novelized qualities, I wonder if in fact the "facts" I believe I have inferred from the journals I've read are "facts", or merely projections I've made that try to fit the journals into my own narrow worldview. I also wonder if the journalists I read realize how clearly they broadcast what I believe to be "the missing facts". I may not know what the facts are, but I can taste them, like blood, on my tongue as I read. But is the blood in the journals I am reading, or is the blood my own?

Comments

[marstokyo.livejournal.com]

I find this admission of yours to be terrifyingly honest. However, Miss Manners suggests that sometimes such terrifying honesty must be sidelined in favor of group etiquette.

[geisa.livejournal.com]

excellent post!!! especially that last paragraph. here is my pyschic "construct" of YOU. this person SERIOUSLY needs to be writing novels!!! i often wonder how you are able to post so much substantive material on a daily basis and practice law, as i know that it can be a very comsuming profession, epecially in relation to "time". i think we are, your friends, and lj users are fortunate that you do this. however...i have a psychic "feeling" that there are quite a few novels inside of you clawing to get out...you should DO IT!!!

as to my journal...i can only be as puzzled about peoples interpertations of me, based on my lj, as you are about me playing "sherlock holmes". i'm sure that you have deduced that i am maintaining almost complete and intended ambiguity as to who i am, what i do, my gender, my age, etc....it is all a part of the grand scheme of being the "ghost" however, that said, i am continuously droping clues and sometimes being down right sneaky!!! who i am IS in the words. what i write is the "truth" but i do leave out certain "missing facts" to intentionally deflect the reader from figuring out who i am, yet i relish in dropping clues for someone, like you, to see if they can tie it together. i can only imagine what you perceive "geisa" (ghost of wonderland) to be. i think that this "concept" is the single most fascinating thing about lj. i am honest...but i am in control. again, the link, or lack thereof, between the reader and the writer. the mysterious n. senada concept played out on lj. also, just as in my diatribe on "art"...just read the words, look at the pictures, don't think about me. i am nothing.

Thank you for writing a very intersting post

[reneesarah.livejournal.com]

It is very interesting to me to learn a little bit about how someone who works as a lawyer thinks. I have made my living for many years in the counseling and mental health field, and am well aware of the kind of assessment process that is going on in the back of my consciousness when I meet a new client. I find quite often that there is a missing element, a linch pin that is not being discussed. What I also find, in a counseling setting, is that quite often the person I am talking with has a very narrowed sense of what their options are. Quite often by the time I see someone, they feel they don't have any options and feel quite boxed in. More than anything else I have spent time on, I have focused on looking at what the range of otpions really are, and then going through them to dicuss the most likely outcome/consequence of pursuing each option.

The whole LJ/blogger culture is quite interesting to me as well. Both my sons, a daughter-in-law and a son's girlfriend all have online journals. Some of my elder son's friends read my LJ and I read theirs. With the younger son and daughter-in-law reading each others journals is a way to stay in touch since they live in another state. When we speak on the phone or meet, we assume that everyone is up to date on what has been said in each other's journals, and just converse with that knowledge as a starting point.

I find I treat LJ journalistically. I talk about my life and experience a bit, but not in a way that I think can come back and bite me. My criteria for LJ posts is: would I be willing to publish it in a newspaper and let God knows who read it? Lately I had gotten a little too revealing about writing about a job interview process, and my son reminded me that it is not impossible that the potential employer could be reading my comments. I took my comments to "friends only". The potential of a world wide audience, coupled with (in my case) the likelihood that very few people are reading, is what makes online journaling so attractive and somewhat terrifying.

The Missing Fact

[circebleu.livejournal.com]

This post was fascinating!

Most of the problems that I had with the person that I went to NM with stemmed from her perception of me from my Internet writing persona clashing horrifically with her perception of me, the walking and talking person. (she knew what I looked like in a still picture) While I feel I present myself honestly both ways, yes of course there is going to be a difference. Some of us are much better and much braver with the written word in expressing ourselves.

I personally don't see you as a novelist at all. Most definitely though a book of essays... Your writing always provokes thought for me and I can really wrap myself around most of your posts.

Etiquette be damned...Anytime you'd like to present me with a theorized missing fact...I will answer truthfully.

Re: The Missing Fact

[marstokyo.livejournal.com]

That's interesting about your friend's perception of you based on your internet writing. I guess I have my own set of problems just based on the name *Mars Tokyo*--I'll never forget the time I was giving a workshop and was setting up materials etc...as people were coming in. I was wearing a blue plaid jumper (something I have long since thrown out--I think right after this workshop)--anyway I noticed that people weren't coming up to me, or saying anything, which I thought was kind of weird. Then when I began-- someone said *YOU'RE Mars Tokyo????* and there were audible gasps and giggles and then someone said *Gosh we thought you'd have green hair and dress in black and wear black lipstick or something* ---in other words the blue plaid jumper was just NOT what they expected. I don't know what I'm supposed to look like but whatever it is...I'm not it. I'm never what people expect. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

[muse.livejournal.com]

This was a strongly-written post.

I'll admit that I do not fit into your "Missing Fact," theory, although I sometimes write with ambiguity for certain people to intuit things that I do not feel like saying outright. Mostly, my journal is what it is. I talk about the majority of my personal flaws and tribulations. What I do not discuss is how much I can hate myself when I look into the mirror and how I don't look into mirrors as a result.

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

That suggestion may be entirely fair. I always pause myself about how to handle things other than the simple journalling part of the experience. I would not have intended to violate a group etiquette.

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

Yes. I think you point out that, unlike other "forms" of life, the "missing fact" here relates to a novel, not a
different experience, and, like the mystious N. Senada, one might be better to let the fact just hover. It is not just a matter that it is better netiquette (and here I thank marstokyo makes a good point, but it may actually enhance the experience. I did not think I was describing something unique or interesting about me, though, but instead something very human in all folks.

Re: Thank you for writing a very intersting post

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

Thanks for commenting. I intentionally don't post anything I would not want the world to know, so by definition my
journal would be full of "missing facts". In this context, though, I meant that the subject matter of the journal itself has a "missing fact" from time to time. I don't think I am particularly profound or gifted at telling what facts are missing in peoples' "emotional lives",but instead in real life am just prosaically able to sort together tangled business transactions. I would think that a mental health professional works with the "missing fact" in a much more LJ pertinent way than I ever do.

I think it is important to see the journal as a device to set forth material, and not as a "real" revalation of "what is real". I do not mean that people alter their facts--it's selection that I mean. I think that given selection, as with a novel, people naturally infer meaning. Or rather, that 'I' naturally infer meaning. But it's not some gift. It's just something I, and I suspect most people do. When it goes badly wrong, as in, say hostile
people negotiating with each other, the wrong but overly supplied "missing fact" assumptions derail everything.

An argument can be made, I suppose,for just accepting what is at face value, and discussing it as a thing unto itself.

Re: The Missing Fact

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I appreciate your comment. I never have to worry about being a novelist, because I lack the patience to write one.
Once in a while I have published legal seminar material, but that requires only effort, not inspiration, to write.

I don't think I'll theorize about any potential "missing fact" for you, as my theory would tell you more about me and less about any acuity I have. But the offer is generous, and I want to acknowledge the generosity.

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

thanks for commenting. I think you make valid points.
I think that even if a journal "is what it is", the reader brings to the journal the reader's own stuff. Arguably,
mentioning out loud the inferences a reader draws is a minor faux pas. So I won't bore you with my own inferences from your journal, other than to say it is fun to watch you explore. I think that you yourself just supplied a "missing fact", but it was a fact I think your journal
recognized long before I would have guessed it. We are not only what we say, but also what we do not say, and the mismatch among the things we say at different times.

I always want to tell you something different, really, which is that I hope you have the courage and resilience to pursue your own path, as you wish to do. But that's not a missing fact, it's just a needless observation.

Re: The Missing Fact

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

Funny, but I would always think of you as a "blue plaid jumper" rather than odd colored hair, but that's because my own prejudice is that pandering to an image is another diversion, and I see you as pursuing your own way without pandering. But that observation, flawed as it is, is more "me" than you, just as the folks at that workshop told you everything about them, and nothing about you.

I am still not sure if the post was a faux pas, but I am grateful you made that point.

Re: The Missing Fact

[circebleu.livejournal.com]

I don't know if a situation like mine is so good for people. (Where you feel you have become close friends and then the reality is just shocking...) But your situation, when you are MarsTokyo artist, is great. You are breaking down people's assumptions and also making their reality a bit surreal.

I remember when I first saw photos of you and it was from your wedding 18 years ago. I was like whoa...can't be...and I thought well the pictures are old. Then I started subtracting 18 from 2002. LOL! This led to the realization that you, like me, were probably pretty much who you were/are by then, at least when it comes to outward identity. If I saw you with green hair or a tribal tattoo on half your face NOW, I would say that you were having a really extreme middle-age crisis. LOL!

Re:

[marstokyo.livejournal.com]

After posting this, I think it didn't quite come out as I had intended (but then maybe you understood) whatever-- what I was getting at, is that whatever facts are missing from someone's LJ, might be so because the person chooses to omit them. The group etiquette thing wasn't meant to be coming at your angle, but more of a reason why someone might omit such *facts.*

Re: The Missing Fact

[marstokyo.livejournal.com]

Well--interesting again. Because the workshop people were all pre-internet and basing their perceptions of *Mars Tokyo* solely on my rubberstamp catalog...which became *known* among rubber stamp circles as one of the *weird but cool* stamp catalogs (as opposed to the whole *cute* thing with the bunnies and daisies and little elves).. so something in my catalog must have lead them to think I'd have green hair etc... Where as you're basing your perception on what you know of me from L.J. (which is a whole heck of a lot more than one could glean from my RS catalog)-- so I guess I really AM a blue plaid jumper kind of gal. (Blech, but I threw it OUT, honest I did!!)

Re: The Missing Fact

[marstokyo.livejournal.com]

Whatever do you mean? I look EXACTLY like I did 18 years ago!!! LOL!!! (not!)

[geisa.livejournal.com]

god...i can't believe how many misspelled words were in my post. i hate that!!!

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the clarification. Whether intended or not, it was helpful to think on. I think that we all edit and must edit spouse info, weakneses we don't want to share, secret choices, etc. That's actually good, but I am intrigued by the imagined hints which journals do provide.

Re: The Missing Fact

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...how should this fictional marstokyo look? Tailored, with quirky hats, perhaps?
Denimed? If you were the marketing person you never wish to be, how would you look?

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

Never worry about that with ME, the king of misspelled comments. You and I share a SECRET MISSING FACT....we never properly proofread comments.

[geisa.livejournal.com]

hehe!!!;)

Re: The Missing Fact

[marstokyo.livejournal.com]

invisible as always!

Re: The Missing Fact

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I like your answer, but after I sent the question, it came to me that as MT actually lives in the great plains (was it Montana or something?), she might have some Georgia O'Keefe or Emily Carr vibe going...some regional selfsameness, beyond appearance.....or not :)

dude.

[pigri.livejournal.com]

i'm adding you.

[voodoukween.livejournal.com]

YES

i have said the same thing

YES

mystery and projection

[voodoukween.livejournal.com]

two great wonders of the world

personally i try to rein in my projection and if not that, be aware of the content that is mine

and i and the world really thrive on mystery

we live in a far too examined world

in your field information is foremost to outcome and your "psychic" though i would name it intuitive skills are surely a boon

to me the unknown is not only potent because of its depth, it is also seductive

i needed to learn to let go of analysis and embrace the mystery

there is no more power in knowing or understanding according to eastern mystics

it is simply more information and does not lead to peace of mind or serenity

but in this western world, or everywhere at the same time, withholding information is a power strategy, it is a form of manipulation

let's hope that in good literature and in journaling this is not the case

therefore i report and leave more for those who are inquisitive

unless i'm reading a good descriptive novel

even then, don't tell me everything at once

i cannot stand a movie or book in which i have already figured out the ending

Re: mystery and projection

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

Yes. I think you have hit the paradoz.
The eastern mystic analogy is very good, because so much of eastern writing emphasizes leaving out the "why" and focusing on the moment, and yet so many times, Hindu or Buddhist mystics are noted for their ability to extrapolate a "missing fact". There's no easy answer.

I think that power can come into the journaling process by omission; I'm sure we've all read a "teaser" or two intended to emphasize "there is more to me than I'm telling you". I am not sure whether it is good or bad, but just that it happens.

I think that your points are very good ones. I'll have to "think on them" (as we saw here) a bit.

Re: dude.

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

Hi, Pigri! I'll add you, too.

Re: Thank you for writing a very intersting post

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

Sorry to double comment, but I was struck by that phrase:

"quite often the person I am talking to has a narrow sense of what their options are".

If I were summarizing in one sentence my own perception of why otherwise bright, capable people cannot change, it's that sentence. If I were summarizing why sometimes mediocre talents can overcome their skills deficiency and still achieve, it's because they are not bound by that limitation.
It's very interesting to me. Thanks for summing it up so well.

Re: The Missing Fact

[marstokyo.livejournal.com]

North Dakota

Re: Thank you for writing a very intersting post

[reneesarah.livejournal.com]

I have often had, for whatever reason, the opportunity to see a wider range of options for others, a wider range of possible perceptions... and I have had the feeling that if the person could make these wider possibilities their own, part of their own perceived experience, that their lives would change dramatically. It seems that in some ways that our lives are constrained by what we are capable of imagining and perceiving.

Having had that experience working as a counselor, and having been humbled by it- especially by the cost to a person's life in insisting on a narrower story, vision, than is actually required by life- I have wondered as well if others have also looked at my life, seen it as much different than I do, full of different possibilities than i have imagined- and thought "If only if she would..."

I am glad to have received both of your comments, and still musing over the first one...

Thank you.

Re: The Missing Fact

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I've always wanted to go to ND, or SD. They seem to remote, so distant.

Re: The Missing Fact

[marstokyo.livejournal.com]

They're pretty neat-- South Dakota has the Badlands and the Black Hills (where Rocky Raccoon lives!)
North Dakota has fields of sunflowers is flat and fairly barren.

Re: mystery and projection

[voodoukween.livejournal.com]

therein lies another key

it i entirely possible to accept the myriad approaches live journal users employ

there is one part of the mind that in the seeker searches and "reads between the lines"

it is another part of the mind or psyche actually that needs to assign a value judgement of "good" or "bad"

this is a question you seem to often ask of yourself

if i may be so bold as to ask, are you at a point in your life where perhaps that will no longer be necessary?

just an observation

Re: mystery and projection

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

A good question. I don't know the answer. But at least I see the question posed. Thanks for sharing the idea.

Re: mystery and projection

[circebleu.livejournal.com]

I'm just curious regarding your response here as I find it interesting and very different from what I would say. What about the concept put forth in various systems of belief (unfortunately mainly those that deal with spellwork) that you can not understand a "thing" until you know the true "name" of the "thing". I don't think I need to rephrase it for you but I have always understood that to mean that to willingly dwell in a state of not seeking out more truth will result in a sort of ignorance. At the same time, I understand the draw of the mysterious and all the attendent phenomena. I guess I truly never thought of these two ideas together before.

[nacowafer.livejournal.com]

I've thought about this notion a lot. But mainly as it relates to my own journal. I have a lot of "missing facts," but I think it's all there for anyone who cares to find it. It's only natural to want to fill in the blanks...I always want to do that. There are many things I would like to write about in my journal, but I don't because I find them too scary or embarrassing or whatever. I suppose those things are best left unsaid. But I really do think they're all there. You've probably figured them out already. It's obviously each person's own choice to do what they wish with their journal. But it is interesting to think about meeting up with someone you've only "known" on-line. I've only done that once, and I didn't feel like I knew him very well on-line, so it wasn't really any different from meeting anyone for the first time. But if I met you or marstokyo out in the real world, I think the set of expectations would be different. I worry about being boring and disappointing.

The five orange pips

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

On the contrary, I never think that if we met you'd be boring or disappointing. I think you might be bored or disappointed, but I doubt even that. You do not realize how interesting you are, nor how unimportant some surface things you worry about can be. I am sure that marstokyo would be delighted to meet you in person, and I am frankly amazed that two such obviously kindred spirits who live so near one another have not met. But that's y'all's business, as they say.

In your journal, the roadsigns are there-"Missing Facts Omitted", no question about it. I have always thought that both things you consider personal failings and things you consider personal problems are omitted by the journals. I could make a half dozen guesses, reasonably educated, but I am not sure the guesses would necessarily be right. While the guessing is inevitable, as the post suggests, the pleasant thing about reading your journal is that the plot continually drops clues about the mystery. I may hazard a guess or two
as time goes on, but I'd rather not. I'd rather
let the plot work itself out a bit.

I always want to tell you to dare to do a bit more of what you dream, but that's a rather vague thing to say, so I'll say it indirectly by saying that's what I always want to tell you.

Re: The five orange pips

[nacowafer.livejournal.com]

We're all probably figuring things out as we go--no matter how long we've been going. I'm only now really coming into my own, I think, understanding what makes me tick. Sometimes I am surprised and frightened by what I find. This journal has been good for that. Not so much exploring the scary things, but the more interesting (to me, anyway) things. When I sit down to write, I am shocked at what comes out! That's fascinating. When I sit down without any pre-conceived purpose, those are the best entries, the ones I find most satisfying. But they're all edited! I hope I'll get to that point where I'm a little more daring (in life...and maybe the journal, too)!

Re: The five orange pips

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

We all learn how we tick all our lives, and all adults are about the same in this regard. I never think of marstokyo as older than I am or of you as younger. One thing I learn the most, I believe, as I age, is how little I know.

I was thinking on the drive to work today how I actually have two strong guesses as to "missing facts" in your journal. But the true "missing facts" are your own facts to treasure. If you told me those facts, I do not believe I would be surprised by them, but I do believe that they might be very different than my own guesses. So I do not think I'm psychic, but I think your journal is 'fair' with your secrets (not that you have to be 'fair' in a journal).

My own best creative writing of any sort occurs when I just let the writing happen, and then decide what is about.

Re: mystery and projection

[voodoukween.livejournal.com]

thank you for writing

you bring up more truths and more paradox

"the self-examined life is not worth living" and still the vastness of the sub-conscious mind let alone the collective unconscious is immeasurable

the purpose of zen koan to lock the logical and rational mind through the exposure of truth in opposites to bring one to a state of be-ing

from personal experience i came to this crossroad where science and art diverge.... did i need to continue to pursue and uncover and understand or could i simply let be and allow what would emerge

there is where i experienced a new sense of freedom and power

Re: mystery and projection

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

Science and art diverge....interesting idea....I understand...

but so often I am eager to see science and art converge, and
for us to live in a unity that does not make those divisions.

But I get what you're saying.

Re: mystery and projection

[voodoukween.livejournal.com]

me too

weaving a fabric if not melding paths

Re: mystery and projection

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

This is very interesting to me. Do you think that it is okay to avoid "learning the name of the thing" as you put it? (beautiful metaphor, by the way). I'm never sure.

Re: mystery and projection

[circebleu.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... I suppose it is ok to avoid "learning the name of the thing" as long as you understand you wish to go no further in your knowing nor put your thoughts upon others concerning something about which you chose to cease further investigation. This is not to preclude the possibility of spontaneous knowledge or other mysteries being visited upon you :)

Re: mystery and projection

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I suddenly flashed on the ghost of xmas past, when you mentioned visitations :)